dear humanity

why must all of you use up the self-checkout lines when you have carts overflowing with 1001 items? i know you were probably a grocery bagger in your youth, but the glory days are over. and really? you are trying to buy a tv through self-checkout? and you, over there, you think NOW is a good time to let your 3 year old scan all his own candy bars? come on folks, let's leave the self-checkouts for those unfortunate people who are clutching several embarrassing items and keep running into people from their parents old ward who very non-discreetly check out the items while they try to hide / camoflauge them with their other embarrassing items while trying not to look like a shoplifter and their face, which has always betrayed them in a second, turns 4o shades of red. because i really would be ok with a few less awkward moments in my life.